John's Bio has been removed due to copyright complaints from the biography's original owner.
Supplemental Bio*:John has further enriched his already fascinating life with temporary, yet fulfilling, careers in acting, professional sports, martial arts, and education, earning master's degrees in molecular biatomy and chemical origami and a PhD in interpretive dance. John the Philanthropist, as he is known in some circles, is renowned for his vast contributions to obscure charitable causes. Over the years he has come to the rescue of such funds as Shave the Whales, Free Quebec, Teen Peace, and United Negro College Fun. A friend to all and an enemy to most, John has quickly risen to the top of many of publications' annual lists including People Magazine's Most Beautiful People (2002, '03, '05), Blackwell's Worst Dressed People (2004), and Blender Magazine's Worst Rock-Star Actors of All Time (2005). His unauthorized autobiography, entitled "Now a Major Motion Picture," is currently being produced as a feature-length animated broadway musical.

*The author neither denies nor confirms the veracity of facts presented in the Supplemental Bio. Any gullibility displayed is entirely the fault of the reader and warrents the suggestion from the author that the reader have his/her head examined by a certified industry professional.